I don’t watch a lot of TV, but that Snickers campaign with the Greek and the Viking, the Pilgrim, Henry the 8th, et al… that was pretty choice.
There’s a restaurant in Greenpoint called Krolewskie Jadlo. I’ve been going there for almost six years. I love the place. It translates to “King’s Feast” and it serves typical Polish fare. It’s cheap. It’s delicious and it’s one of the few places in the borough I still look upon fondly.
Tonight, my girlfriend and I made plans to meet up there to grab dinner. We’ve done it countless times before, but when I got there, the metal gate was halfway down and a notice was on the window. I feared the worst as I crept over to check it out, expecting to see “Condemned: Vermin Served Here” or some other tale of horror.
The notice was something about a liquor license. Pedestrian. Ho-hum. Still, it offered no insight into why my beloved Polish kitchen is kiboshed.
So, when the B43 pulled up and she stepped to the curb, we set upon finding another eatery. There’s a small joint down near Nassau Street that a once-friend recommended, but seeing as that once-friend is a complete jackass, I opted for the old stand-by, Christina’s up near Greenpoint Avenue.
Christina’s used to be this dirt cheap purveyor of Polish food. $3.50 pierogi, $2.50 for a bottle of Zywiec … and it was very good. But that was back in the day, before I succumbed to my Celiac Disease and was eating pierogi and drinking beer with impunity. Now, I can’t touch the stuff out of mortal fear for my health … and after seeing the prices at Christina’s, I was almost glad. Pierogi are up to $6 and Zywiec is a whopping four bucks. Worse yet, Christina’s kielbasa was $7 — as opposed to KJ’s $5.50 — and worse in taste, presenation and quality. It looked like someone had lopped off a porn star’s money maker and laid it on my plate.
Still, we ate what old Christina gave us, paid the check (cash only whereas KJ takes cards), and sidled back down Manhattan Ave and past the Feast, which now had its gate all the way up and its doors open. A lone woman was inside and the lights were mostly out. They were not open for business. But with the gate up, I could see another notice on the window, above the liquor one I’d read earlier. I went across to read it.
“This establishment has been closed by order of the commissioner of the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene”
Well, shit.
Never once have I gotten sick eating there. The bathroom is immaculate, the waitresses always appear clean (and they’re pretty cute, too, for the most part), and I’ve never needed to so much as to cite a dirty knife or fork. I was a bit aghast, so I decided to look it up when I got home.
The only citation I found for a Krolewskie Jadlo was for one in Queens. Nothing at all in 11222. Nothing comes up if I search for King’s Feast. The Greenpoint restaurant isn’t on the site. Maybe it just happened today and they haven’t yet posted it. Who knows. It’s certainly not the city’s strong-suit to get anything done expeditiously.
But I regularly ate at the Cambodian Restaurant on S. Eliot Street, and that place was a mess. I frequented Darbar East in Manhattan and the soap in their grubby downstairs bathroom was probably an American Indian artifact the building was built around it was so damned old. Never got sick at either place, despite their proverbial warts. KJ is immaculate compared to those places … and you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be going back once they reopen.
The food’s just too damned good (and cheap) to avoid.